STEP 2: Good Manners

(Brian Dangerfield's 15 Steps to Greatness #3, 2009)

Hi, Brian Dangerfield here again. The editor says I don’t have to introduce myself at the start of every column, but I’m going to keep doing it anyway. Why? Because it’s polite, that’s why. ‘Politeness’. There’s a word you probably haven’t seen in this magazine for a while. Sadly, it seems that good manners are a thing of the past. Why, the other day I was walking down George street when a young man approached me and called me a “dick”. Can you believe it?! I’m afraid that if you want to be a success, you won’t get very far without a little bit of common decency.

So, what do I mean when I say ‘good manners’? Let me give you a few examples. ‘Good manners’ is not leaving the dinner table until everyone has finished. ‘Good manners’ is holding the door open for a lovely lady. ‘Good manners’ is addressing adults on the street with “sir” or “madam” and not using words like “c**t”, “pr**k”, or “sh*****d”. In the end, good manners really come down to one thing: respect. If you respect people then they will respect you in turn, and you cannot be successful without respect. After all, that’s the one thing good manners really come down to in the end: success.

In the workplace, good manners are extremely important. When dealing with superiors, a little politeness goes a long way. Tell your manager how much you like his new tie, his dashing haircut, his excellent new ideas for the direction of the company. Good manners such as these can really help you get ahead. And hey, why not try complimenting that young woman in accounts on her new dress and see if she can’t give you a little ‘Christmas bonus’? (Only joking! My kids love that one!) But it’s not just the workplace where good manners can improve your life. For example, if you are well-mannered and polite toward your family members then they will spend time with you because they actually enjoy your company, instead of feeling like they have to and inviting you along to things like Dad’s 70^th birthday even though you can tell they don’t really want you there and are spending the whole afternoon making hurtful comments behind your back.

Now, think of a time when you behaved in a way that was bad-mannered. How could you improve things next time the situation arises? Perhaps you left the table without offering to do the dishes? Next time, roll up your sleeves and get scrubbing! (I’ll be expecting a ‘thank-you’ note from your mum! Actually, some chocolates would be nice! Just joking, again!) Or maybe you insulted someone you didn’t know on the street? How about next time you see them, offer that person an apology and promise you won’t do it again? It’s really not that hard to turn bad manners into good manners, all it takes is a little thought and a little respect. I know you can do it.