The other day I told my friend that she was stupid times infinity, only to have her reply that I was stupid times infinity plus one. Is her assertion mathematically sound? (Timothy Sherman, Opoho)
Well Timothy, the existence of
numbers larger than infinity is a question that has intrigued mathematicians
for centuries. Of course, to prove that there are numbers larger than infinity,
they first had to prove the existence of infinity itself. While the concept of
infinity had been theorised for centuries, there was only one way to prove for
sure that it existed: start at the number ‘one’ and count your way up. The
first recorded attempt to do so was made by Scottish mathematician John McIvor
in 1782. However, this valiant bid for infinity was cut short after the number
39, when the elderly Scotsman decided that he would rather have a warm glass of
milk and an early night.
The next noteworthy attempt to
count to infinity occurred several centuries later. It was made by a young
American by the name of Chuck Johnson during a live television special in 1968.
He began counting in the early evening and eventually reached infinity after
three and a half hours, at which point he was greeted with thunderous applause
from the audience. However, his glory was short-lived: upon reviewing the
videotape, it was discovered that Chuck had missed ‘1,672’, thus falling short
of infinity by a single number.
It was not until 1982 that
infinity was finally conquered, this time by a team of highly-trained Swiss
mathematicians. The team counted incredibly slowly over the course of nine
years to ensure that no numbers were missed, and their extreme care paid off:
infinity was eventually reached at 9:52pm on June 12th. However, their
success was tainted by the fact that five members of their team died during the
marathon attempt.
Once the existence of infinity
was proved, a new question arose: were there numbers even larger than infinity?
However, the Swiss tragedy had made mathematicians reluctant to try counting
that high again. Progress ground to a halt, and the question of larger numbers
lay dormant for years. Then, in 1992, there was a sudden breakthrough: a
Harvard mathematician by the name of Gerard Smith realised that since infinity
existed, and the number one existed, one could simply add the two numbers
together to produce ‘infinity plus one’. This startling discovery reignited
interest in the field, and suddenly new numbers were being discovered on an
almost daily basis. Within a month, the existence of the numbers ‘infinity plus
two’ through ‘infinity plus sixty-two’ had been comprehensively proven. Today,
with the aid of advanced computers, mathematicians are even coming close to
proving the existence of ‘infinity times infinity plus one’. So yes, Timothy,
I’m afraid that your friend’s assertion of your high level of stupidity was
mathematically legitimate.
At the time of writing, the
existence of ‘one bazillion’ has not yet been proven.
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